27 Apr Achieving a Mind Shift
There’s nothing better than a testimonial.
A friend of mine conceded that she hated budgeting and spent every dollar she earned. She knew she needed to make a change; however, the thought of budgeting was depressing. As a child, she lived in Guatemala. Her family was very poor and went without many of basics we take for granted. She and her family immigrated to Canada. Today, she’s college educated and is on her way to achieving her professional goals. Although she earns more than her family ever earned in Guatemala, she is plagued with the same emotions. Whenever she tells herself she doesn’t need something, those depressing feelings from childhood confront her. She hates those feelings so she gives in and buys something she knows she could live without.
I asked her what she and her husband wanted most to achieve over the next 5, 10 and 15 years? She acknowledged that they had never talked about it. I encouraged her to complete her list and then ask herself how she would feel if she did not achieve these goals.
One month later, she saw me and sat down to chat. She thanked me for the exercise I’d given her. Once she’d written out her priorities, it was no longer a problem saying no. I asked her what created the change? Identifying her priorities gave her clarity. This eliminated the feeling of doing without. She knew what she was gaining when she said no. Achieving her future dream was now her present reality.
A small change in thinking had made all the difference.
This simple strategy can be effectively applied in many areas of our life. Start first with the goal. Understand how you’ll feel if the goal isn’t met. This enables us to see the current behavior we desire to change as the obstacle to enjoying and celebrating a priority that’s important. Once this bridge has been made, mastering the ‘how to’ skills becomes doable.